Love, Lost and Found
by NiennaAngel
Summary: Kai thinks back about the lover he lost while sitting around his mansion watching the rain. ClaudexKai. Odd pairing warning.


Okay, here's a little oneshot a promised Elemental Gypsy. I'm not telling you the pairing mainly because I don't mention Kai's lover's name until the very last line. XD Anyway, enjoy and please review!

**blah** - flashback

_blah_ - thoughts

* * *

Kai sat in the large bay window watching the rain pour from the heavens. He shifted his position trying to get comfortable and pulled the comforter tighter around his shoulders for warmth. He sighed as he rested his forehead against the windowpane. _I'll never be comfortable again. Not without him around. He made everything worth while._ A tear slipped from heartbroken ruby eyes and trailed a slow path down his cheek. The usually proud phoenix didn't bother to wipe it away. He didn't care that he was showing weakness. _It doesn't matter anymore. I'll never be able to hold him again. He's gone and never coming back. How am I supposed to stay strong when my support has disappeared from my life? How can I continue to live without him in my life? How could he just leave me? How could I have been so cold to him when all I wanted was to be with him for the rest of my life?_ With another sigh he closed his eyes against the tears that were threatening to run freely down his face.

**Kai whirled on his lover with a death glare. He was pissed and he wanted his lover to know it. "How dare you do that? I'm not some damsel in distress that you need to rescue! I don't need you to protect me! I can take care of myself! Don't you ever do that again!"**

**His lover regarded him with a tortured look in his eyes. "I know you don't need me to protect you Kai. I've always known that. I love you. I want to keep you safe from everything bad in the world. I can't help it, but if you don't want me to then I won't. I'll leave you to take care of yourself. Just tell me and I'll disappear."**

**Kai glared at his lover angrily. "Leave me alone."**

_I hadn't meant for him to leave for good. I just wanted him to leave me be for a few hours so that I could get over my anger. I didn't expect him to leave me for good. I was just angry and embarrassed. I thought he would understand that I just needed time to cool down. I guess I was wrong._ Kai placed his hand flat against the window pane as he stared at his overly pale complexion in the glass. He sighed and closed his ruby orbs as his hand slid down to rest in his lap once more.

**Kai walked into his bedroom and went to collapse on the king size bed. He stopped halfway there when he noticed something was missing. His ruby orbs scanned the room and quickly took note that some of his lover's belongings were gone. The phoenix ventured further into the room worried that they had been robbed. It didn't take long for him to realize that his lover had left him. He dropped to his knees in the middle of the bedroom and cried for the first time in years.**

Kai shifted as he tried to find a comfortable position on the large window seat. The rain was still pouring down outside and the wind had picked up causing the house to emit creaking noises that made Kai snuggle further into his comforter for security. He hated staying in the large mansion alone, but he didn't want to ask anyone to stay with him. _It just wouldn't be the same. Once he moved in I knew that I could never live here with anyone else. He just fit here. He made this place so much warmer and more comfortable. With him living here I was never lonely, even if he wasn't in the house. I always knew that he would come home and be with me._

**Kai stirred from his nap when he felt the bed shift. He turned and looked up at his lover who was leaning over him with a loving smile on his lips. Kai reached up and ran his fingers through his lover's silken hair. "You were gone for awhile. I was beginning to worry that you weren't coming back" the phoenix whispered.**

**His lover chuckled softly before pressing a soft kiss to the Russian's lips. "I'll always come back to you Kai. I can't live without you."**

"**Promise to always come back to me?"**

"**I'll always come back so long as you want me."**

_I've lost him. I guess that promise wasn't meant to be kept. He's never broken his promise before. He always did what he said he would. Then, he did say that he would leave me if I told him that's what I wanted. I didn't mean it though. Oh, love, please just come home to me. I miss you so badly._

**Kai snuggled further into his lover's arms with a small smile on his lips. He was happy for the first time in his life and it was all because of the man lying beside him. "Will you be with me forever?"**

**A soft chuckled escaped his lover's lips, but Kai felt it more than he heard it. "I only make promises I can keep. I won't promise forever because you may not want me forever. I will promise to do whatever you ask of me though."**

**Kai grinned and buried his face in his lover's chest. He had slept peacefully for the first time since he was a child and knew that so long as his lover was with him he would continue to sleep well.**

_I guess you did keep your promises. I asked you to leave and you promised to always do what I asked of you. Then you promised to come back so long as I wanted you to. I want you to come back, but how could you possibly know that? There's no way for you to know that. No one's heard from you since our argument. I told you to leave and you did. You completely disappeared from my life and everyone in it. Come back lover. I need you._

"**Happy anniversary, Kai. We've made it through three years and I couldn't possibly be happier. Well, maybe if you agreed to marry me I'd be happier, but I know that's not in the cards for you just yet."**

**Kai looked up and smiled at his lover sadly. "I'll marry you some day lover. I'm just not ready for that kind of commitment. I love you." He was rewarded with a soft, sensual kiss that lasted for several minutes before his lover pulled back. "Mm. Do you have something planned for today?"**

"**I plan to spend the entire day with you in this house. I have no desire to see anyone but you until tomorrow. You and I are going to curl up in this incredibly comfy bed and not get out until lunch."**

Kai opened his sleep filled eyes. _I guess I fell asleep listening to the rain._ He looked around himself to find that he was in his bed under the multiple layers of covers that he kept on it to keep warm. Kai frowned unsure who could have moved him to his bed without waking him up. Only one person on the planet had ever been able to move a sleeping phoenix without waking him and he was somewhere else. Two tears escaped his heartbroken eyes as he the knowledge that he had screwed up his life hit him all over again. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to truly cry over the loss of his lover for only the second time. A pair of strong, familiar arms wound around his waist and pulled him into a firm chest. Kai hiccupped as he opened his eyes and looked at the arms holding him so possessively. He turned around in those arms and looked into silver eyes that he never expected to see again.

"I told you I'd always come back to you if you wanted me to." He placed a finger over Kai's lips in order to silence him. "You needed to be alone Kai. You needed time to figure out if you truly needed me in your life. I've known for a long time that I'll never be happy without you, but you didn't know if you felt the same. I'm here for you Kai. I'm never going to leave you. I don't think either of us will survive that. I love you so much."

Kai blinked back tears as he stared at his lover. "I love you. I really do. I'll never be able to live without you. Don't you ever disappear on me like that again! I thought I'd lost you for good!" Kai broke down into tears as his lover pulled him in close and held him tightly.

"I'll never leave you Kai. Never."

"I love you, Claude."

* * *

Well, there you go. A lovely little Claude/Kai. I'm not sure how well it turned out. I'll see about writing another oneshot that deals more with their relationship, but that's a maybe.Anyway, I hope it wasn't too depressing. Please be kind and review!

Miguel: Kai is mine. Not Claude's.

Tala: What makes you think you can put _my_ Claude with anyone but me?

Oh, leave me alone. It was cute and a slightly odd pairing so I just had to write it.


End file.
